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How to handle heartbreak (boys)

How to handle heartbreak (boys)

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How to handle heart break (boys)

So  you caught her cheating, no wait, she dumped you, it doesn’t really matter what happened, what matters is that you are hurting. It’s not bad to feel betrayed and hurt, its not bad to cry at all, cry, let it out. Don’t try to be strong, it’s good to be strong but if you don’t let it out, you will choke.

she said she loves you, she said she’s never going to leave you, that she’s going to be yours forever. It’s hurts to remember all that, it freaking hurts! Take a deep breath, inhale deeply, exhale, let it all out.

All the lies they told, all the fake promises they made. Did you find out recently, well if it’s not that long, then you must be hurting real bad now. But am going to tell you this,

DON’T HURT YOURSELF, don’t cut yourself with a razor, don’t drink shots, don’t smoke trash because baby,

YOU ARE NOT THE VICTIM.

Remember this, SHE DID THIS NOT YOU.

If you hurt yourself, if you are being mean to yourself then you are making it look like you are the victim. Why would you hurt yourself, why do you want to blame it on yourself, you are smarter than that baby.

Am not saying its not bad to get mad, its not bad to cry, its not bad to feel hurt but never ever hurt yourself. At this point in so many people’s life, they just result in messing themselves up or hurting themselves, depression would hit real hard but know that you are strong enough to overcome anything, you are a MAGICAL BEING.

Whenever you feel like you are congested, like you want to let it out, or do some terrible things, its always best leave your house immediately. Look for somewhere that is naturally endowed, a garden filled with flowers, a fountain fall, a place with lots of trees, a natural atmosphere, a private place away from the hustle and bustle of life, away from all the noise, you can just be by yourself and communicate with mother nature. If you remain in your house, you are going to mess things up, you will end up destroying your house. Once in a place of serenity and solitude, let it all out, shout, cry, yell, say the things you want to say to the person that hurt you, do not let any emotion back. Then listen, communicate with the trees, air, stay in any comfortable position, listen and hear what the universe says.

One thing you should not ever do is give in to alcohol, to food, to smoking, because once you are in, it will be hard to get out. Once you let toxic habit invade your life just because somebody hurt you, you are in for a very long ride and believe me, it’s not worth it. you are going to keep drinking and drinking till you develop a kidney disease, you are going to keep eating and eating until you get overweight, you are going to keep smoking and smoking till your heart fails. All these for someone that’s not worth it. Baby    Nobody is worth your health and certainly not someone that hurt you. After all that, you bear the penalty even when you are not the one that did wrong. That’s why I said you should never give in to anything toxic.

Always take a cold bath whenever you remember what she put you through, don’t get mad or let your blood rise, just go to the bathroom and take a cold bath. Let your body absorb the water, just close your eyes and let the water take over. Let your feeling and emotions flow with the water, LET IT OUT.

Tell your bestfriend if you have one, always keep yourself company, surround yourself around people that really cares abut you or loves you. If you don’t have a best friend and not really into people, then do the things you love, your hobbies, If you love reading, then pick a book, look for interesting books, download or buy them. If you like watching videos on you tube, get to it, watch good videos on youtube, as I said earlier don’t involve yourself in anything toxic so be aware of the videos you choose to watch. Don’t get too invested in your hobbies though, like without them, you can’t control yourself again. A guy once got his heart broken, he invested his time in the gym, right now he is a successful fitness coach. See!! he invested his time in the gym and not in excessive drinking or hurting himself. Invest your time in something worthwhile and keep telling yourself this I AM NOT THE VICTIM.

I often get this question, what if she comes back to beg?

Well if she comes back, to tell you she’s sorry, that she will never do it again. Everything depends on how much you actually love this person, if she comes to beg, one thing I don’t want you to do is to make her see that you are really  hurting, its okay to tell her she really hurt you but don’t overdo it. Don’t go wrecking her car or house. Don’t look a mess, dress good, smile at her, you know the best revenge is silence, not that am telling you to take revenge on her, but when you smile at her and keep your calm, believe me she will think about it forever but when you cry and throw things around it would make an impression but not as much as smiling would make. Make her know she hurt you, tell her calmly and at the end its you that decides whether to let her  in or not, whether to forgive her or not.

The next thing I would advise you to do is FORGIVE. Okay, pause!, don’t get mad at me, am not trying to make you feel weak or something like that, you know people often think that the act of forgiveness makes someone weak but no, forgiveness actually makes you stronger, I know this is going to be really hard for you, I mean this person hurt and betrayed you, but true healing actually begins when you forgive. Now forgiving her does not mean you will have her back in your life, no!

It just means your inner peace of mind matters more. If it is her first time doing what she did, then you might consider taking her back because baby no one is above mistakes and temptations not even you. Look at her eyes, know whether she feels remorseful, If she’s putting in her whole effort, if she keeps coming back to beg you. When someone really wants your forgiveness and wants you back, she really shows it, but if it’s someone that doesn’t care, she would never come back to say sorry, if she keeps coming back, crying on her knees, not just through some texts, then you’ve got to forgive her baby. But if she has done the same thing over and over, then it’s your decision but for me I would forgive her but not take her back, its best to let her go, it’s obviously no longer a mistake. However is still your choice.

The ultimate goal is to heal your heart and be at peace with yourself, the ultimate goal is loving yourself first and more. Recognizing yourself for who you are. You love this person but you love yourself more. Loving yourself more means that you are not going to stoop low for her to see that he hurt you, it means that you are not going to get yourself involved in anything toxic, you loved yourself before you loved this person. Don’t let it break you, just let it go, invest your time in the right things, turn it into your motivation.

You might never stop loving her because its always hard to stop loving someone, but time heals everything, you are going to find the better and right person for you. Trust me.

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